But the “let’s make a movie out of this story” kind of heart. All of my favorite movies and stories have this one common thread. At the center of them is a story about a man, a woman or a team of people who fight for something bigger than themselves. Who wage war against mediocrity and injustice. Who revolutionize some (every?) aspect of who we are.

The kind of movies that have anthems as their theme songs. That’s me. I’m one of those guys. William Wallace. Neo. Ned Kelly. The Mighty Ducks. Well, maybe not the whole team. Just the kid who does knuckle puck.

Anyway, I’ve learned about myself that my heart beats this way. At times it’s a hindrance. I’m always looking to “blow the top off” of some field, some industry, some practice. I’m always looking to completely change the way people look at ____________. It doesn’t always matter what it is… but it needs me to flip it on it’s end.

I can tell you this, I don’t know what industry or job you have. But it needs a revolution. That’s kind of my go-to answer on anything.

I’m not bragging, mind you. I’m not saying… “hey, over here! I’m a hero!” I’m saying that I’m like an alcoholic who finds the liquor in every building. It’s just in me, sometimes like a poison, sometimes not.

I say all of that to say that the next few months will be a transition for me. Back into a world where it’s more accepted to be a revolutionary. Heck, it’s expected. But if I’m honest with myself, while by night I might feel like the Caped Crusader… by day I sometimes feel more like one of the Three Amigo’s. You know, the short one who’s career never took off.

I need to trust that I’m not the hero of the story. Jesus is. The only heroic thing I can do… truly the only heroic thing anyone can do is to fully live in, fully rely on and fully trust that Jesus will be Jesus.

I have a revolutionary in me. His name is Jesus.

And I keep hearing these common themes over and over again that I just so needed to hear. The biggest for me is the wild faith that Scriptures tell us to have.

Not just this weak, middle school faith that believes God for the curing of the class pet… but this deep abiding faith that rests in who I am in Christ. The book of James in the New Testament talks about the “hearers” and the “doers”. I always thought that this passage had to do with those who “work” hard at their Christian life. Now I see this passage in terms of “faith”.

That hearers are people who just hear “Oh yea… God loves you. The Holy Spirit Lives in you. If you pray to God in the will of Jesus, he’ll give it to you.” and then they go out and live like as if God wasn’t there.

And I don’t mean falling into sin! I used to hear that passage and think “okay, don’t be just a hearer, don’t sin”… but the problem with “hearers” isn’t that they fall into sin, but that they fall into mediocrity. They take God’s power given freely to us for granted and don’t fully rely on God- who lives inside them! James compares them to people who look in a mirror, walk away and forget who they are.

But “doers”… I used to think these were people who did ministry. Who preached, counseled, gave money, gave time. But James doesn’t talk about them as people who do religious stuff, put people who have Faith that God really does desire good for us, really does live inside us and empower us and really will answer our prayers that align with the work of Jesus with an overwhelming “YES!”.

James compares “doers” to peopel who look in a mirror and walk away. But this time, because they’ve studied the “law or freedom” (that God is for us and not against us)… they live victoriously, not forgetting who they are.

And the question that I guess I have is “have I been living like I actually believe that God’s Holy Spirit will live inside me and do as Jesus promised when he said that the Holy Spirit would enable me to do greater things than even Jesus did?”

If I believe that… how would I approach the church we’re planting?

Different… with faith… and boldness… that’s how.

You see, when I first became a Christian… I thought that big churches were the best realization of God’s will for a community. I thought they were successful, people reaching places where Jesus was obviously at the center. “They must be doing something right!”

Then (about a year ago) I went through this “medium-church” size phase where large churches were the enemy. Bloated organizations that didn’t do anything but help trap people into a system of religious doom. I thought that they were socially inconsious and completely selfish. “That’s right, spend 20 million on a building for rich white people…meanwhile almost every time we take a breathe a child dies from preventable diseases. And never mind that we could fill a football stadium a few times with the number of homeless children in the US or of underage sex slaves around the world. As long as you have a nice, ornate place to gather… screw the world.”

And now… well I’ve become a little more balanced.

Look, churches don’t have to be big… just healthy. Healthy in a lot of ways. And size doesn’t always interfere with health. But sometimes it can. If a church is too big (or too small) it’s probably not thinking about these questions:

1. How are we being salt and light? How are we changing our city? Is our goal to gather a bunch of people for a worship service, or do we actually have a heart to change the culture of the world around us? Because I can think of lots of churhes that think that because they’re big, that they’re influential. That’s not always the case. And if we’re not influencing the culture around us for Jesus… how are we being salt and light?

2. How are we changing the world? Bottom line, poor stewardship is still poor stewardship, even if it’s in large amounts. While the world starves and dies, we cannot spend bloated amounts of money on ourselves. 99% of all money raised by the American church goes back into the American church. We suck at giving and the world needs Jesus… pretty sure that he’d have something to say about that.

3. How are we reproducing? You’ve heard that healthy things grow right? Well sort of. Small churches may be unhealthy if not growing. But large churches may become quickly unhealthy if they keep growing and never reproduce. A look at the human body tells us that things grow… platuea in growth… mature… and reproduce. Are our churches?

4. How are we caring about the lost? Not just transfer growth, but how are reaching people who’ve never met Jesus. Doing church in a way that doesn’t help people who’ve never met Him to do so isn’t just “another method” or a matter of “preference”. It’s our mission and not doing so is wrong.

I used to think that ALL big churches couldn’t do these things. I now realize that the most don’t… but some do.

And those that do have the resources to be a big help to the world and the Kingdom because of their size.

It’d be cool to be a part of that kind of place.

He discusses his honest uncomfortableness with the book of Acts in the Bible… about how the church today looks totally different than the church of that day. He notes how early disciples were uneducated and bold, and how churches today are full of educated and scared people.

Wow!

Honestly when I look at Acts, and how the first churches were started, and I look at how we do it today… I see the same thing. And so the question comes up:

If God is still the same God
Who has the same mission
Who uses the same Holy Spirit

Why can’t we be people who resemble the early church?

An absolutely relentless faith, extravagant love, endless grace… a family.

I know not all churches were like that, but I see more of those things in the church of Acts chapter 2 than I do in my own backyard.

But why not?

Last week while doing a prayer drive my wife spoke something AMAZING. We were praying and driving through a community not unlike 99% of Wesley Chapel that is full of gated sub-communities. She prayed that we would be people more concerned with letting people in than keeping people out. As she prayed she said offhand to me and God: “I know they won’t actually take down the gates…” And tears began to pour from me…

‘Cause why not?

Like the Berlin wall fell and became this iconic breaking of barriers…

what if one day we were a community that was full of so much hope and love and faith that we didn’t spend untold thousands on “keeping ourselves safe” and invested it in the poor and needy?

what if we didn’t close our garage’s every night at 6pm so as to leave the neighborhood guessing as to whether or not we’re home?

what if we tore down the gates on our community and declared our homes open places?

And the old man says “but it’s your job to keep your family safe”…

No… it’s not! It’s not my job, it’s the Lord’s. Read the scripture and see whom the Bible tasks with the protection of even the littlest of us…

What if we weren’t scared, but were bold?

Of course:
It probably won’t work
It’ll probably cost me my reputation and life
I’ll probably be broke soon

But… heck… why not try?

I met with the pastor and music minister of Wesley Chapel First… and it was great!

I had no idea that they were this type of church…

They’re big on relationships

They desire to plant churches

They encourage people to “go and live it”

They’re growing, and have healthy leadership

They’re socially liberal, while holding to a conservative theology (I was wrong to assume otherwise, and should apologize)

They’re big on Scripture and allowing God to use it as a primary means for directing the church, along with the Holy Spirit

Wow! Hopefully we can develop a relationship with them and really partner with them for the good of the city and the county as there is much of our DNA that is complementative to who they are.

Good times, so glad that the Father brought us together and that we seemed to be so open to his working.

Listening to Jesus Culture | Your Love Never Fails

I offered to buy coffee, but he wanted to meet at his place. I think I’ll bring a Grande Peppermint Mocha anyway… been craving one. Anyway.. this church is in my city, and a part of my denomination and state convention (they choose to be a part of a different local association). I’ve been here in Wesley Chapel for about 3 years now. And I’ve purposefully been avoiding them. Why? Because I’m a church planter and they’re a traditional church.

I go out for coffee at 6pm instead of meeting in an office.

I don’t have an office.

Or a building.

Or a 5 person staff.

And I can’t remember the last time I sang a hymn and meant it (does Stanfill’s “Jesus Paid it All” count… ’cause that was on a few minutes ago)

I keep wondering what I can learn from the man I asked to meet with me.

I’m young, he’s older.

I’m progressive, he’s traditional.

He’s more consertivate socially, and I’m not.

He’s suit and tie on Sundays, I’m suit and tie on Weddings

But wait… there’s more!

Because I’m still going to meet with him. And I’m going to learn from him. He’s been doing ministry here for a long time (he may even have known my grandfather). He’s pastoring a church that isn’t dying. Maybe even growing. He’s many years my elder and I’d be stupid to think that I can’t learn from his leadership.

I’m not going to be a young punk and rub our differences in his face- and then insist that he give me some sort of leg up in the game.

I’m going to obfuscate my youthful pride and remember that I need him. Not for money, or for people or even really for friendship (though any of those would be nice

I need him to be strong in Wesley Chapel. To be an accurate telling of the Gospel to our city. And because the city needs him to be that, I need him to be that.

And so we’ve been praying for him and their church. And I’m really happy to be meeting with him tonight.

‘Cause the more that I think about it… I don’t think we’re really that different.

Go ahead, at the top of your lungs.

Channel anger, rage, disappointment, fear, resentment, discontent and anything else you normally suppress…

Then breathe deep… this helps to clean out your lungs.

Gets

them

ready…

now scream! (walk away from the computer, I’ll wait)

(didn’t do it yet? what are you waiting for?)

SCREAM!

_

I think that the whole world is screaming.

When we go to our jobs, when we go home, when we go to our church or place of worship, when we go out to dinner or to the park with our kids.

We’re screaming

Every action- every breathe… fuel for our lungs to silently explode in a fit.

The question is this: what are you screaming for?

Don’t read it wrong. I don’t mean to ask ‘why are you screaming’… I know the answer to that. You’re screaming because you need something…

purpose

hope

love

security

a job

a husband

a child

a life…

Not ‘why are you screaming?’… you’re screaming because you want something. But what do you want?

for what are you screaming?

SCREAM!!!

And ask yourself: “what are you screaming for?”

Something big: something bigger than ourselves. Something connected to humanity, to the world, to the truth and even ugliness that we see around us. Something that leads us into…

Something deep: something profound. Something packed with meaning and purpose. Some Reason which gives us hope.

What happens when we don’t connect to these two things? What happens to the human soul when it has no great purpose in life. Not a wrong purpose, mind you. We’re not talking about the difference between some serial killer and you. We’re talking about the difference between you, and the you that you could be.

What if my life has a “something bigger” about it? What happens if I don’t reach that? What happens if I don’t fulfill that? And what happens if I don’t find something deep? What happens when I never get the connection to something that not only gives hope to me, but to the world around me.

I could volunteer with the Red Cross for 12 hours a day… would that get rid of the feelings of guilt and inadequecy that creep themselves into my soul; leaking out into all the beautiful parts of my life and making me question them?…

About a week ago I had a dream that I drowned.

No… strike that… I had a dream that I was in the process of drowning… and gave up. I said to myself “I’ll never make it up” and I let go. I remember, in the dream, saying goodbye in my soul to my wife and my children.

And gave up, letting life carry me away to death.

When I woke up, wiped the tears from my face, trying to clean away the fear underneath… I wondered “will that fate await those who don’t reach something big or deep with their lives?”

I think it will. And I think that’s why the church exists. To dive into the deepness of humanity, pulling up those on the verge (or over?) of giving up. Not giving up on life… just giving up to life. Giving up to the them that they are, instead of pursuing the them they can become.

And I knew at that waking moment that not helping people out of that depth would do violence to the bit of “big and deep” the Father put into me..

Mondays always make me think…

But I guess that’s an occupational hazard of her job.

Every job has an occupational hazard, does’t it? I know people whose union negotions are coming up and may be asked to relocate across the country to do a different job for the lenght of the strick. Occupational hazard.

I have come to the realization that I have a job that has many occupational hazards. And I’ve only experienced a couple of them. Being a church planter, you can find yourself lonely at times. Been there. You can find yoursef strapped for cash. Been there. You can find yourself working an odd-job, waiting for an opportunity. Am there.

And if I had experienced wild success in ministry, and experienced none of those hazards, I might be so daring or stupid as to call myself blessed. But I’m not that brave, because the truth is- I’ve never seen the lows that this job can offer. I’ve never been close enough to the family that loses their income to weep with them. I’ve never been in community with the teen whose parents are divorcing to offer any words of comfort. I’ve never been that close to coming apart.

I’ve been reading through Nehemiah, waiting for God to show me my wall, my Jerusalem and my people. And I’ve camped out here, just a few verses in: “All the same, remember the warning you posted to your servant Moses: ‘If you betray me, I’ll scatter you to the four winds, but if you come back to me and do what I tell you, I’ll gather up all these scattered peoples from wherever they ended up and put them back in the place I chose to mark with my Name.’”

And the word I get is ‘beautiful’. Serving in community with people who are being scattered to the ends of the earth by sin and shame and job loss and death and illness and despair…it’s quite desperate. It’s quite lonely. It’s an occupational hazard for planters.

But it’s also beautiful.

Because of that last bit there, hidden away in Nehemiah… “I’ll gather up all these scattered peoples from wherever they ended up and put them back in the place I chose to mark with my Name.’” From wherever they’ve ended up…

A group of believers or de-churched who gather together, listen to good music and relevant teaching… that’s cool.

But a group of people who are scattered across the map of their soul… coming together inside themselves and in community…. from wherever they ended up… being freed from sin and death, made whole and complete by the person and love of Jesus…

beautiful.

An occupational hazard of being in ministry: seeing and feeling the mess that is humanity

An occupational hazard of being in ministry: seeing and feeling the mess that is humanity… brought together from wherever they’ve ended up, worship God and living sent among their friends and families…

It’s one beautiful occupational hazard. And I’m praying for an opportunity to experience it.

“Buy our shampoo, it’ll make your hair better!” “Buy our car, it’s sexier and cheaper than the competitor!” “Buy our coffee, we give money to starving kids in Ethopia!”

I read this quote in a book I failed to buy but was happy to read in Barnes and Noble: “in business, failing to differentiate means dying”. I know that the church isn’t a business, but follow me for a moment.

Imagine, if it’s hard for you, that you don’t know God. Imagine that the only thing that you know about church is what you see on TV, heard about growing up on vacations to grandma and see on Sundays on your way to the supermarket.

Now imagine that you are invited by a friend to a church gathering one Sunday and together you two walk into ________________ (insert the name of a local congregation here).

You go… you have a good time… you decide to do it next week. But this week, you go to another church gathering, one closer to where you live. Monday morning comes and you see your friend at the ole’ watercooler.

“Hey Jim, how’s the weekend?”

“Good Bob, you know, I decided to go to church yesterday since I had such a good time the other week.”

“Really? I didn’t see you there?”

“Oh, I woke up late and decided to go to a church near me?”

 ”Which one? Is it _____________ (insert your denomination or affiliation) church?”

 ”I don’t know, it’s yellow.”

 ”The big one?”  (you think you know which one, and you try to look happy for him, like you don’t think he’s just cheated on you)

“Yea, it was fun! A lot like your church… well see ya!”

This probably hasn’t, or won’t ever, happen to you. But I can see it happening. Why? Because most of our churches, to a person who doesn’t speak our unique cultural language, look the same.

In my city, I can name 8 churches that even to a guy like me, are hard to tell apart. Modern worship… nothing too slow, too old school, too new, or too crazy (sorry most David Crowder fans).

Topical preaching… funny, somewhat awkward, jumped around in the Bible, inspirational, somewhat challenging (but in a nice, Reader’s Digest kind of way)

Good kids area

Excellent nursery

Nice signs, bulletins and graphics

Casual envinronment

It’s like church in a box… I don’t know what the next year and a half looks like for my family and I, but I know this, I’m not giving myself away to become just “Relevent, Real, Refreshing”-ese follower…